How expectations are causing pain and suffering

Are our expectations holding us back?

Expectations. Opinions. Goals. Results.

We have been taught to focus and be orientated towards them in school, work, sport, social situations and all aspects of life. However, it is specifically these things that cause us and the human experience a great deal of pain and suffering.

We so often place expectations on ourselves, others and situations of how we believe we should act and behave, and how the result should be desperately trying to control at all costs. But as we do this timelessly and timelessly again we see a cycle of pain, disappointment and suffering emerge from these expectations.

We cannot ever truly expect or predict a scenario nor does a situation ever play out the way our expectations, hopes and desires demand them to be. To place a level of ignorance to this fact and create an illusion that we have control will ultimately just continue to place ourselves on this never-ending cycle.

But this result does not have to look so constantly grim, and often it is a strong expectation that is sadly not met to an individual, a vital turning point and cause for genuine change to remove themselves from this hamster wheel of chasing, running away and cause of hurt.

This takes the individual to a stage of self realization that this cycle no longer serves a valid point and to move into a more peaceful and content state of being, they need to let go of the minds fixation and desire to control and expect certain results.

This is truly a wonderful opportunity to reconnect and remove excess layers of the ego or false self. To let go of expectations and hopes to some can seem as a cold and lifeless thing to do, but it is actually the paradoxical opposite, for it is because of the love for life and wanting to be free from suffering do we chose to release the minds tendency to fixate and control, which in turn allows new opportunities, experiences and adventures to unfold before in ways that the mind was ignorant and blinded too. Much like the blind spots in a cars side mirror, once we choose to fully see life and situations for what they are, an infinite amount of energy and new life can be connected to and explored.

This does not mean we should give up on our goals, hopes and dreams in any way, nor will I give up my ambitions. However, what is helpful to know is that our goals, interests and perspectives are forever changing in life, what you think is most important one year if you were to write it down and store it away somewhere and to come back each, the result would differ.

If this is the case, the need to desperately try to cling to these things and create an attachment and identity to this serves no valid purpose. So from a state of being and non attachment, follow your goals and ambitions but with caution, and knowing that these can never define even a small essence of what your true self and soul contain. This in turn takes the pressure off the expectations and allows oneself to enjoy and be fully present in all the moments of life, not short sighting ourselves with tunnel vision with a achieve at all costs mentality and mindset, something which majority of us have fallen into at some stage or another, or still pushing for.

So with this insight and understanding, use love and self healing to allow yourself to let go of the painful expectations and desires we hold onto, and allow the space and freedom it brings to take your soul to a new stage of realisation and peace…

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