Changing our perception on love and loss

One of the hardest parts of the human experience to feel and go through are the highs and happiness that come from loving something or someone, to the tragedy of losing this aspect that meant so much to you.

However, just as life and death are a cycle of non-duality, meaning that you cannot have one without the other, our loves for external aspects and the world around us can be very difficult to come to terms with, especially when it comes to losing and letting go of something we are used to holding onto so tightly.

We need to understand that when we grab hold of things, attach ideas and create a false sense of permanency to these things, we can forget to respect them and be grateful for their qualities and aspects, and get tied up literally to the feeling of grabbing onto anything.

Just as a baby is scared and clings to its mother, we do the same things as teenagers and adults in the form of attachments, addictions and fixations, sometimes these things can even become disguised as love. With every attachment we take hold of, inevitably one way or another it will end and if we do not understand and accept this process we are destined to experience suffering and unnecessary hardships that prevent us from moving in new directions with our lives.

This leads to the process of letting go. Something I need to do a lot more development and improvement in, as majority of people do. As a society we have become accustomed to having things how we want them and when we want them. But this is all a deep delusion and when we have to let go of attachment and desires to things, we deeply struggle and cannot come to terms with this.

This provides a new challenge and awareness to pay attention to, in order to avoid getting stuck in these limitations. Keeping self awareness on the way we perceive sensual experiences and how fast we grow attachments, is an all important skill that not many humans have the power to control. By understanding our attachments we can regulate things and how they become a mental dependency for ourselves. This in turn can help us review our loves we hold onto, and in the face of loss, give us a sense of awareness and opportunity to see beyond this factor.

It does not mean that you will not feel sadness and pain, but it helps give you insight and a passage of understanding that goes beyond this factor, so that one does not forget that life involves letting go and loss inevitably.

I am not suggesting that we should give up love, give up sensual pleasures and enjoyments as this is just hiding away and averting from these things. This would simply be the other end of the extreme and we are not really learning anything. What I am suggesting is that we practice a middle path, engage in experiences, allow love to blossom, understand the enjoyments and possibilities in life but also recognize that these are fleeting moments and will certainly end at some point.

So now we understand that attachments and the loss of attachments will cause pain, however that we still should allow ourselves to enjoy, love and engage in all aspects of life but with a shift in consciousness and mindset.

Understand that this is all part of the human experience and every experience is an experience, it is just the perspective of “good” or “bad” which we attach to these experiences which comes back to affect us. Practicing the middle way is neither choosing to see good or bad, but equal in all aspects and another experience with equal benefit, enjoyment and self realization possible from it.

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